Blog - Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Counselling and Psychotherapy in Lincoln
How to manage emotions when the unthinkable happens- Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Jane Travis

How To Manage Your Emotions When The Unthinkable Happens

*Article originally posted on

'Have you seen the news today, mum?' said my son.

My heart sank - what now? What new horror has happened in the world?

Today, I watch the news in disbelief, my head swimming as I hear about a truck being deliberately driven into innocent people in Nice, just the latest of a series of horrendous acts of terror, civil unrest and war.

How can I possibly cope with more horror?

The Downside Of Gratitude - Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Jane Travis

The downside of gratitude

Gratitude journals are very popular at the moment, with just cause - many of us are more blessed that our grandparents could have ever imagined.

But it's easy to get wrapped up in insignificant trivia that frankly doesn't matter, so it's good to be reminded of lifes simple pleasures and of what's really important.

However there's a dark side to gratitude that is often missed, and can cause you damage.

Let me explain...

How to be fabulous! Don#t let your negative body image spoil your night, noone notices your flaws but you - Reflections Counselling Lincoln

How To Be Fabulous!

*Article originally posted on

This was a Girls Night Out that had been months in the planning.

Spirits, along with heels, hems and hair, were high. The collective volume - also high.

​Let's take a look at two of the girls in the group:

On the night out there are a pair of identical twins: for this experiment I'll call them 'Twin A' and 'Twin B'.They're totally identical - hair, height, weight but also have a similar character.

Twin A is having the time of her life. She is chatting, laughing, dancing, smiling and flirting.

Twin B looks very uncomfortable. She stays in her seat, avoids eye contact and self consciously pulls at her clothes.

What's making their behaviour so different?

Setting boundaries - Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Jane Travis

Setting Boundaries

I was watching something on TV, and they said:

'The truth is like a toothbrush - you only share it with people you trust'.

And I thought 'Eew! I'd NEVER share a toothbrush!'

But some people do, and they don't mind doing it!

Which is fine, we're all different​, and we all have different boundaries.

The trick is KNOWING those boundaries and enforcing them, so when someone visits me and has forgotten their toothbrush, they will get a firm 'EEW NO!' when they ask to borrow mine!​

Knowing how I feel about sharing my toothbrush is clear, but how do I work out other boundaries in life?​

12 things I've learned in 12 years as a counsellor - Reflections Counselling Lincoln

12 Things I’ve Learned In 12 Years As A Counsellor

Did you ever wonder what a counsellor learns from their clients?

Well I'll tell you!

I started my counselling practice Reflections Counselling Lincoln in January of 2005, so have run my own counselling business for over 12 years now.

It's been an amazing 12 years and I have worked with some truly amazing and inspirational people. ​

Client confidentiality dictates that I can't tell you about individual stories, of course, but I have worked with people from all backgrounds, with all types of issues and the transformations have been truly memorable.

I feel humbled by the courage that has been shown and I feel honoured that I have been trusted with their story.

So let's take a look at what I've learned as a counsellor

Do you want more time- Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Jane Travis

Do you want more time? Try this!

Time.  It's such an interesting concept.  

Probably the most valuable commodity we have, but we waste so much of it.   

But what if I was to tell you a really simple way to find yourself more time?

When antidepressants aren't enough - Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Jane Travis

When Antidepressants Aren’t Enough.

People have opinions about antidepressants:

Some people see taking them as a sign of weakness, proof that they have failed in some way.

Some people have very high expectations of them, and expect to feel happy whilst on them.

​Some people are afraid of them, worrying that they will become addicted and never be free of them. 

Whatever your view, they are very helpful for a lot of people.  

But what happens when you come off them?


Next Christmas…

As we put away the Christmas decorations for another year and put the unwanted gifts on eBay, it’s a great opportunity to think about how your Christmas was and think about how you would like next Christmas to be.

Maybe it was everything you hoped it would be, or a time of tension, loneliness and boredom. Maybe it was frankly a disappointment which has just left you feeling exhausted and worried if your credit card will get you through January?

Here is something very simple you can do to make your next Christmas the Christmas you’d really like to have.


The Curse Of Perfectionism

What does 'perfectionist' mean to you?  

Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

Let's take a look!


Why Pleasing Everyone Won’t Make You Happy

Will you be happier with more money?  Possibly.

Will you be happier with a flash car?  Maybe. 

Will you be happier if you were slim?  Could be. 

All of these things in and of themselves won’t make you happy. There are plenty of rich, slim, flashy car driving people out there that aren’t happy.


FREE - 21 Day 'Balance Your Life' Challenge