Christmas Survival Guide Day 3: Being Alone At Christmas - Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Counselling and Psychotherapy in Lincoln
Christmas survival guide day 3- Being alone at Christmas - Jane Travis, Reflections Counselling Lincoln

Aah, the perfect family Christmas.  Twinkly houses, roaring fires, people smiling lovingly at each other whilst taking a family walk in Christmas jumpers after lunch.  

Oh wait, that was a Christmas advert.  Sorry.  

​When images of perfect families and great friends are all around us, what happens when you spend Christmas on your own?

Here are 14 suggestions just for you.

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Make the day yours

There are many reasons you might be spending Christmas on your own, some through choice and some not.  

I love this blog by Ross Davies 'The people who choose to be alone at Christmas' as it explores how difficult it is to actually choose to be alone at this time of year, and 'I spent Christmas alone and it was a really good decision' from xojane. 

Whatever the reason make it as indulgent as possible. 

The beauty of time alone is you don't have to fit in with what anyone else wants to do, you have a total free rein and because it's Christmas you can indulge without feeling that you should be working, cleaning or whatever.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Buy that book you've been meaning to read and immerse yourself in it
  • Have a home spa day, with deep conditioner for your hair, a manny/peddy, candles - and don't forget a soft fluffy towel warming
  • Do something creative - play a musical instrument, write, draw/paint
  • Turn off the TV and enjoy the silence, or listen to your favorite music
  • Binge watch that series you've not had time to see yet
  • Take yourself for a walk and breathe in the fresh air
  • Cook yourself your favorite meal, or find a recipe you'd like to try
  • Take a nap

Put together a day that's totally yours, plan it and make it a day to look forward to. 

Alone this Christmas? Make it indulgent - plan, prepare and enjoy!

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But what if I get lonely?

If you're going to be alone and you worry about feeling lonely, as well as indulging yourself you might want to put together a support list.  

  • Arrange to call or Skype with friends.  If you're worried you'll be a burden, you won't be: I can almost guarantee they will be pleased to speak with you.  Don't assume everyone else is having a perfect Christmas, they probably need a break too. Consider it mutual support.
  • Use social media and forums to communicate with others.
  • Meditate.  If you are new to meditation, I'd recommend a guided meditation - Tara Brach is very good, and has many to choose from, some just 5 minutes, some 30 minutes or longer.
  • Make a list of helpline numbers like the Samaritans in advance for if things get really tough. You may not need them, but if you do, they will be at hand. And most importantly USE THEM IF YOU NEED TO.  
  • Journal.  Emotions are normal, and writing about what's happening for you is very helpful. For help getting started, take a look at my guide 'How to start a journal'. It's available on a Pay What You Want basis, meaning there is no set price, you pay what you feel it's value is to you. 
  • Make a comfort box and include anything that makes you feel good: fluffy, warm blanket, music, photos, journal, a teddy, bubble wrap, colouring book and pens, film, either feel good or one to help you cry (it's cathartic)  aromatherapy oils, candles... use your imagination. 

You have a choice: You can dread spending Christmas on your own, or you can reframe it to be a day to immerse yourself into total indulgence. Plan it, prepare it and then enjoy it. 

If you know someone spending Christmas on their own, be a friend and share this.

10 blogs to help you survive Christmas - Jane Travis, Reflections Counselling Lincoln (1)


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About the Author Jane

Jane Travis is a qualified and experienced counsellor and clinical supervisor in the Lincoln area. She has been working at Reflections Counselling Lincoln since 2005. She also helps other counsellors and therapists market and grow their private practices at JaneTravis.co.uk.

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