Counselling Archives - Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Counselling and Psychotherapy in Lincoln

Category Archives for Counselling

12 things I've learned in 12 years as a counsellor - Reflections Counselling Lincoln

12 Things I’ve Learned In 12 Years As A Counsellor

Did you ever wonder what a counsellor learns from their clients?

Well I'll tell you!

I started my counselling practice Reflections Counselling Lincoln in January of 2005, so have run my own counselling business for over 12 years now.

It's been an amazing 12 years and I have worked with some truly amazing and inspirational people. ​

Client confidentiality dictates that I can't tell you about individual stories, of course, but I have worked with people from all backgrounds, with all types of issues and the transformations have been truly memorable.

I feel humbled by the courage that has been shown and I feel honoured that I have been trusted with their story.

So let's take a look at what I've learned as a counsellor

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When antidepressants aren't enough - Reflections Counselling Lincoln - Jane Travis

When Antidepressants Aren’t Enough.

People have opinions about antidepressants:

Some people see taking them as a sign of weakness, proof that they have failed in some way.

Some people have very high expectations of them, and expect to feel happy whilst on them.

​Some people are afraid of them, worrying that they will become addicted and never be free of them. 

Whatever your view, they are very helpful for a lot of people.  

But what happens when you come off them?

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Why The Benefits Of Counselling Last A Lifetime

Counselling brings about very positive change, there is no doubt about that. However something that often isn’t appreciated is that the benefits of counselling can last a lifetime.

Why is that?

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7 Myths about counselling - Jane Travis, Reflections Counselling Lincoln

7 Myths about Counselling

Are myths about counselling stopping you from getting the help that you need?

Lets have a look at 7 common misconceptions:

Myth 1 – I am a failure if I can’t sort my problems out on my own

The Reality – When we try to work through problems on our own, they can often go around and around in our head. We have a ‘blind spot’, things that happen outside of out awareness. And although there are self help books that can be useful in that they can give you advice and some insights, they can sometimes add to the confusion.
A counsellor is trained to help you see issues from a slightly different viewpoint, see those blind spots and allow you to view things from a different perspective. Each counselling session is personal to you, focusing 100% on you which gives you a unique experience.

Myth 2 – Going to a counsellor is a sign of weakness

The Reality – Sometimes we think strength is about keeping everything in and not being effected by difficulties, in which case seeing a counsellor is a sign that we have been ‘strong’ too long. However it shows enormous strength to face problems and try to improve ourselves/our lives. Counselling is a positive step towards helping yourself.

Myth 3 – Counselling is only for people in crisis.

The Reality – Sometimes people come to counselling when they are in crisis, when they have been struggling on on their own until they cannot cope anymore. However, that isn’t always the case. Some people realise that they are trapped in negative cycles and want to make changes, some people just need a few sessions to gain clarity about a specific issues, and some people want to lay ghosts to rest. There are lots of reasons people choose counselling, it is a very positive step to take.

Myth 4 – The counsellor will just sit there and not say anything.

The Reality – Well – no! Counselling isn’t about having a chat over a cup of tea! I do listen, of course. I really listen to what your problems and worries are, and I listen and focus on you for the whole session. I will work with you to identify the main issues you have, help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as help you identify what changes you wish to make. Being heard is important, but counselling is about much more than that.

Myth 5 – The counsellor will tell me what to do.

The Reality – Professional counsellors do not give advice. I may give information, but don’t expect me to say whether I think you should do A or B. Its my job to help you explore issues, so you can make up your own mind about what you choose. You know yourself better than anyone else, and you know whats best for you, its my job to help you discover that.

Myth 6 – Will counselling change me?

The Reality – Well, yes and no. People that come to counselling find that they do change as outdated thoughts and patterns of behaviour are explored and rejected, and increased self esteem, confidence and better communication skills enhance your life. However, you are you – a unique individual, and counselling is about celebrating that – encouraging you to accept yourself for who you are.

Myth 7 – Can’t talking with family/friends help?

The Reality – We all go through difficulties from time to time in our lives, and often the support of friends and family can help us to get through it. However sometimes we may not feel able to turn to them – we don’t want to worry them, or worry we may be judged, or that they won’t keep a confidence. Or we may feel alone and unheard. Counselling offers a safe, confidential, non judgmental place for you to talk freely about whatever and whoever you want.

The truth is, counselling is purely about having time devoted to helping yourself, for whatever reason. Life can be difficult sometimes, and at these times working with a friendly, down to earth and professional counsellor can be invaluable. I can help you to look at things from a different perspective, help you understand what’s happening for you. Look at things you may be able to change and accept those you aren’t. If you are caught in a cycle of repeating bad habits and behaviour then therapy will help you to understand how this is happening and change these aspects of your life.

It’s very important that you feel comfortable with whichever counsellor you choose as it’s the quality of the relationship you have that is important – all counsellors are different and have different personalities, styles and approaches.

So don’t let myths about counselling prevent you from getting help.

I work with people just like you, so don’t struggle alone, ring me on 01522 704935 or email for an appointment – jane